finding strength

I used to think that someday I would change the world. Bring peace. Teach how to love. Stop the arguments. I wanted to become this great writer. Cure AIDS. Always be true. Never lie. Catch my dreams. Make everyone chase after their dreams. Help the kids. Fight violence. Be someone that matters. Make a difference.

Somewhere along the way I lost something. I am not exactly sure what it was, but it sure meant something to me. I might have been me.

The person typing this can not change the world. She is too scared to bring peace. I don't love myself so I would be no good at teaching others to love. I am the one causing arguments, so I get no chance at stopping them. I would still love to be a writer, but it is not a talent of mine. I am not a genius so no cure for AIDS from me. I lie and I am not always true. I don't know what my dreams are so I don't know how to chase them either. Again, too scared to help anyone or fight anything.

If one person can make a difference I probably should start by changing myself.

I want to start a new section of my life, kinda a rehab section. Where I find courage again, and start trusting myself again. Where I don't lie. Where I grow wings to my heavy body and get out of this prison. Where I learn how to be true to firstly myself and then others, and in a way where I find me.

Some people find peace in painting, writing music or running, well I don't have that kind of talent, I only have this, I can only be who I can be, and this is it.